Sacrifice of a Mermaid~

wedding maid

Curiously I sit, observing a pallid young bride, grieving, through a tear stricken face

Silently, our souls begin to chant, an ache in my heart was crying for her.

The salty ocean squalls begin to churn twisting all tides of our emotion,

Celtic church bells begin to ring in the faint distances of surrender.

I get my first glimpse of him, back taunt as he goes

A vast emptiness fills the space, where memories of true love once played.

Devoid of all noise, a space lacking empathy, she intricately begins to tingle in memories.

Transcending through her, I’m suddenly there, trading places, I begin to

Breech the casting swell, she beckons transcendence, I must save her!

I retreat down the ocean steps, weeping profusely, her tears

Entering now the boundaries of their once secret meeting place.

Inundated in memories, the two of them would frolic in the cool blue tides.

Beneath the moonlit sky, they shared in moments, where no one could penetrate the space between them,  for it did not exist, they became uniquely one.

Deceived by her heart’s desire, she dreamt no more of the glass church, or weeding his path of kelp brambles.

She had grown old waiting and could no longer hang onto a tainted mirror of false memories.

In a fell swoop I entered the cool ocean tide, walking, the soft sands beneath my feet.

I  begin to pierce her changing stance, further I waded  thoughts of him began to surmise that beautiful smile he flashed in the dim alley when they first met.

It would be her last memory of this life the grimacing of the tide drew her nearer,

its center now  above her  shivering waist.

Quietly tossing her to a  depth of no return,

the diamond unfurls beneath her paled knuckle,

slowly dropping,

sinking to the ocean floor,

arrest the guiled sands of time it navigates to a salty grave!

A place among pirate souls, succumbing to a peaceful final rest.

The pain in her heart was oblique no more.

Within a mermaid’s last wish, to exchange a tear for her transcending friend.

A drifting of sweet surrender,

to the flowing sea grasses around her waist.

Entangled now  a frailing tear slips from her amber eye,

shackled by her vow of friendship, she grasps to a final fleeting breath…

T

R

A

N

S

C

E

N

D

An exchange of honor, sustained  by the lapping sea……

R*I*P

mermaid-last-breath

Belinda Ann~*~

Nite Notes 2017

Goodbye~ luv

edward and bella

My Dearest Edward,

I feel your sweet poison rushing through my tender, aging veins, every beat of mine heart reminds me your still there. Somehow though it seems to be fading, like an immunity has begun to flow through these same delicate veins, subsiding, overstepping, smothering “it” lil by lil cleansing away a separation of red and white cells.. Plasma’s begin to disburse your venomous serum. As I bleakly traverse the property  a succumbing sunrise entranced  me; I imagined a place where two were one, a realm of imagined time. Where souls, “ours” cut the ominous void in distance. Collapsing together upon the soft mossed forest floor, simply laying caressed in conversations, in perception of us only. No one else would understand, at that pause in time, I was suddenly  mystified by what is not, nor will ever be… I started to deliberately walk again, only to find I was home where I began.  Heart still beating, muddy soles, I open the door. Listlessly crossing the threshold,  a solitary tear finds its way to the brazen floor, these hazel eyes have shed your last tear! The door of reality, it closes, leaving you outside. Strangely I somehow feel fine or do I?

Eternal Luv,

Bella

A.T. ~I couldn’t allow what hurt me to influence my decisions anymore, It was too little too late. I had to do what was right now. Edward would never see me shed another tear

~ Eclipse~

Nite Notes 2016

Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

“It”

it

“It”

It comes and it goes,

so easily I fall in

then in a post

it all falls away

Broken,

he leaves me, time after damn time, cut, and bleeding on his floor,

~Listless~

Raped of all emotion

Shattered, I try to collect the broken heart pieces

Yet all I see are Dark reflections of wasted days gone by

dancin’ round my slightly disturbed mind,

just a wicked ass fantasy

Another notch on his childish,

sick,

crazy ass, score board

within an hour glass of white silty sand

he’s encased me within prisons of his gritty Fender hell

Escaping the grasps of this twisted affair,

has shaken me to the core,

fighting~ just to breathe

Please God, give me the strength to leave this pit of despair!

I scream

this fucking pain

~ it’s real ~

why can’t you see what you do to me,

I’m

becoming

numb

ur so carless with this frailed heart of mine

I freely gave it to u,

no strings

u trapped me within this buspirone cycle of despair

no saving me from myself

I’ve come completely undone

my blood stains your hands

this last time

I cried out to you,

like a lost broken lil gurl

and u deliver the final,,, gut wrenching blow!

u sick ass, narcissist man,

its fucking abuse what you do to women

u continue collecting hearts in your  dark corner of webbed up sniper control

Fuck you!!!

You cannot break my will,

my wings they will reach into the darkness of my sickness

and save me from your death grip

U cannot take the remnants of mine past

I will not let your deceits drown me in sorrow

I’m breaking free,

yet forgiving u for your transgressions of

“Silence”

“It”will only be part of this life’s ashes!

Swept away into this darkness,

I’m gonna let “it” go

u cannot follow me , into this black abyss

I’ll drag my life’s sorrows

like a chain, in its brokenness

through the mud stained glass;

ur misery’s will not define me,

ur view is distorted in this life

~trustless~

u will never get me,

I cannot hold onto u, evermore

as I wished upon that June Mainstee shore,

I need u to forget how I was real for u,

the tiger swallow she failed me too,

in the heavens she did not reach

This wrenched fade to black is mine alone

U cannot accompany me

ur still taunted by overwhelming fear

mine salvation will grace me

returning me to where I belong

a life before you

without yearning for a shallow grave

forget me and this  dam spiral of circus games

ur ticket in my life…….

Its “REVOKED” !!!

U cannot hold onto me with your song

“It” is not real, this sorrow its mine alone

My bed, is hollow of ur dreams

My pillow will suffocate any temptation of u

in the dream of MY life

ur voice is muted

I will…….. Let “It” go

Forward

I will go without ur imperfect “Silence” of nature

U are a muted harmony!

I will soar above this

ur presence will no longer loom,

seekin’ for space in my PTSD storm

It’s the E.N.D

ur place in this puzzled madness

has resolved “its” final piece has been restored

In the cursed edge

U do not fit the mold of

my true soul!

An enraged bleakness,

will fall a shadow on ur heart

u will never forget me or “This”

it’s been in your misstep, and lack of a dance

that u will be mindful of a future without mine

true aquarius heart, abounding full of the oceans true tempo!

My promise, to u, its broken!

Bam

Nite Notes 2016

Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

I do…

Nite Notes cover

Please believe me when I say ~ I do

I will always be true with only you

 

If I could honor it, Id promise my life to you

I fill inside with profound hurts every time

You’re looking so blue

Its sadness that’s looming round you

Am I the cause?

If I could find it, I would heal your heart of all its pain

Won’t you show me the way?

Shine as my beacon till I’m there with you.

Walking now

Cool evening rain washes over me

I’m in search of you

Misted Moon ~ she smiles at me

Gently wisps me into thoughts of you

So complete every time I sense you near

I’m closer now can you feel my body’s warmth?

 

Please believe me when I say ~ I do

I will always be true with only you

 

I wanna tell you it’s me babe

So true in what I feel for you

I am the tear that swells inside when you doubt me

Ill for always fight those tears

I will not cry aloud for you

If you’re looking close

Deep within mine eyes you’ll see, the pain

Draw closer now and feel the salty fears there

Glimpses of blue reflect in me because of you

With doubts harbored towards me in what I feel for you

 

Please believe me when I say ~ I do

I will always be true with only you

 

I love you with all of who I am,

Please believe in this heart of mine, can’t you see where it stands?

 

Remember it always ~ “I” Do Love You

 

*The original I do*

Nite Notes 2015

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

Milky-way Mystery

eta-aquarid-milky-way-taylor

I love the stars, I love looking up,

I love looking at the milkyway late at night

When all is calm

Just keep looking and wondering

How it happened

And why it is ours for the moment

The moments too short

The milkyway is forever

As we see it, it is our lifetime

Forever really is forever

It is beyond our scope

 

We look up at the stars and do not know how many are dead

We still see the light

It’s the light of the dead star

Or is it dead

 

See we will never know

We are not supposed to know

We should enjoy it to the fullest and not worry

The stars do not worry

 

They shine their brightest every night just for us

When they die, they die a peaceful death without telling us

Their light will shine on us for billions of years after their death

 

It shines, shines, shines

I will shine in you just like that star

Even though I cannot be seen today, you will know that I shine

Even though I am gone, it is but only for a moment

 

Because like the star you can depend on me to return

Just as the star returns every night

Look deep into your soul when in despair

I will shine through and give you happiness

You may not see me, like the clouds that hid those stars

You and I knew they were there

 

I too will be there, just look and you will see

Behind that cloud is the treasure

The treasure is not silver or gold

It is not the gemstones of the kings crown

It is not the finest paintings

It is not the finest clothes of the Queens gown

It is nothing you can see

Oh no, it is much more valuable than that

Look into my eye and only you will see

The finest of treasures the rulers of our world couldn’t ever see.

“This” can only be felt with the heart and you sweetheart are it’s key.

Milky-way ~ Mystery

~*~Belinda Ann~*~

Nite notes 2015

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

Becoming~

 

bench

On

this

bench

I’ll

wait for

you

when the

stagnate

air clears

cumulus clouds

shall dissipate

a starr filled universe

will cease in time

erasing

all

fears

slowly

a boy

will surely

breathe life

into the becoming man.

 

~*~Belinda Ann~*~

Nite Notes  2016

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

 

Blu Shadows

blu moon

Blu Shadows

I lie awake tossing in thoughts of you

Can’t find sleep without your melody

I’m fighting a burning desire to see u tonight

I wanna feel your warmth next to me

I need u tonight

Gonna get in the red truck and drive

Won’t stop till I’m there beside you

Down to the river we’ll go

Riparian music will lead us there

 

I need u

I want u

Tonight babe just u & I makin love in the blu shadows of the moon

I need u

I want u

The tender touch of your hands comfort me

It’s in the way u hold me close to u

Swaying under the stars, just u & me

One within our universe, complete sweetness you’ll see

 

I’ll give it to u anyway u want me too

Its u~ I wanna please all of u, tonight

The smell of passion lingers everywhere

The tastes of your lips are still here with me

 

I need u

I want u

Tonight babe just u & I makin love in the blu shadows of the moon

I need u

I want u

I’m gonna get in the groove with u babe

Were gonna rock this river bank

Starting over now, making tender memories

Moments spent with u are a delicacy in me

Oooh babe I wanna go there with u tonight

 

Put your hands round mine

Look into these hazel eyes they’ll show u no lies

Gonna make u want me babe, like the miner wants for gold

Gonna go deep inside memorizing each & every fold

I need u

I want u

Tonight babe just u & I makin love in the blu shadows of the moon

I need u

I want u

I’ll give it to u any way u want me to

It’s u, I wanna please all of u tonight

The smell of passion, lingers everywhere

The tastes of your lips are still here with me

Whoaooooooo need u tonight

Gonna get in that red truck and drive

Won’t stop till I’m there beside you

Blu shadows

~*~Bam ~*~ 2014

*Nite Notes*

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

Frailed as the autumn Oaks leaf `

frail heart

Once alive in spring, life plummeted through my green, careening veins

Lil by lil the seasons, they changed

 I lived only to eventually detach from the strong hold of that mighty Oak

So it unfolds…

Spring drifting to August I began to instinctively repress h20’d life

 I bask in survival on the sun lit gem of Virgo’s sun

he warmed every inch of my detaching and now fading stems

I knew not to fear

This cycle as the creator intends

“All things must meet there end”

September rains came

 I felt the last etching of his glory

 as it dripped over the edges of my now torn surfaces

Wouldn’t be long, I sensed the number of days

I held on longer than most

Now in deformed beauty

October’s brisk breezes, they came

In an angry whisper

 the oaks branch, twisted and turned

with the full breath of Northern winds, she scattered me

he could not hold me anymore

cut free

from a once connected home

drifting, twisting, a beautiful spiral begins

 I cannot chose where it is I land to succumb

a final rest could carelessly place me

in mercy of an arched Nike, crushing me.

 Purpose is served in this dreadfall

Left as frailed as that autumn Oaks leaf

The heart of this season,

Bequeathed under foot,

~Finds beautiful demise ~

this

Cycle is complete

Bam 2016

*Nite Notes* 2016

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

Silence…

20141119_092713~2

Silence is all you’ll hear

Our afternoon chats lost in rage

Somewhere between us the laughter fades.

 

Ominous void, quickly spirals into pain

So carless are we in these silent days

Oppressive is the scene, colored in black and blue

Sadness it’s here can you feel it too?

Somewhere between us the laughter fades.

 

Reason in your voice, I cannot hear

Yet in a glimpse today, I saw, my fear

Thoughts of losing in this silent raging war

What is it were really fighting for?

Somewhere between us the laughter fades.

 

Revealed is mine emotion, but anger it still dwells

Then to my somber cheek, a tear, it fell, lost and lonely

As I am, without my inspirational friend

Take me back now, to remembrances of when

Somewhere between us the laughter fades.

 

You and I, we’ve tumbled onto some forgiveness here

Because in this silence, we will not last

The time it’s here, spread your wings in flight

High above this tangled web of confusion, we’ll soar

Somewhere between us the anger fades.

 

~*~Belinda Ann~*~

Nite Notes 2015

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

 

Obscure Risk~

20150905_182102

I harbor no fear in me ~ of you

Stepping cautiously now unto your trails

Tainted with your sweet poisonous ways

I wanna decipher these mappings of who you truly are

Given time I’ll explore all of you

I wanna see your soul complete

Integrate our beings as one

It’s the sweetest poison you are molded from

Given time I will taste it all

 

I  know you will be worth every tear I’ll eventually cry

 

It’s an obscure risk, following the trails you’ve left behind

Still I’ll move onward shuffling my aching feet

Atop the distinctive clues

You’ve carefully left them here for me

Knowing I would not hesitate to follow

In a vision, I saw you standing there

Loathing beneath the raging storm

Thunder~ we cannot escape the distance in which we hear her

As lighting fills the night sky, she dances in quick flashes

Revealing the bleakness upon your tear stained cheek

All alone you’re shivering and cold, grieving bout’ days gone by

I’m offering to clothe you now with all the colors of me

Let me be the intense fiery blanket that warms your soul

Given time I’m gonna make you whole

Rid you of all the sad times you’ve seen

I’ll give you shelter from all this past years’ blue-blue rain

I’m gonna take care of you baby, just you wait and see

Your cryptic poisonous trails led me here

Scattered beneath the mystical star filled night

I stumble across pieces of you, broken and torn

Mecum hill it’s where I saw you~ tangled in a black abyss

Amidst the moons light I stop to stare

Gonna gather up these pieces and fit you together again

I’ll be the emotional adhesive for you ~ if you let me

Gonna rid you of all the anguish inside

I’ll make you a happy man again

I promise to fill each and every need

Absolve all your sadness till your complete as one ~ with me

It’s an obscure risk, following the trails you’ve left behind ~ I know

Yet you’re worth every tear I will eventually cry!

 

~*~ BAM~*~

Nite Notes 2015

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent