~Rex~

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Peace felt in a saddle

along a dusty road

alone with your thoughts

surounded in nature

is touched by none other~

#Horses #childhood #Healing

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No fear, all Faith.

If we feared nothing in life,  how would we feel alive?

I’m not sure how we survived Gracie’s vigorous golf cart driving skills..  but we did!  Made it to the 1933 beautifully restored fire tower.  110′ into the atmosphere we climbed,  clinging to the iron every step!  Elijah’s carefree steps lead us 3/4 of the way,  he’s a fearless lil spirited boy!!  Upon reaching the final platform he loudly proclaimed (with arms wide open) “Ma I feel like a bird,  free to fly away. ” It was a precious mama moment.

However Gracie’s reaction was polar opposite..  Although she was geared up in her hightop Nike’s so she could “Just Do It” I sensed the tension in her every white knuckled step.  The sweat beaded her brow,  she stopped several times,  breathing heavy on the edge of anxiety’s crutch.  Yet she pushed on flight after flight leading me..  I pondered whether she would actually get to the final platform.  I found my self a little excessive in asking if she was ok,  did she wanna keep going?  Each time the reverent response was “Yes,  ma give me a minute. ” ugh!

When her final step connected her to a view of insufficient glory,  she shrugged her shoulders,  took a depth breath and threatened to puke…  As she clung to that gray iron,  in sheer fear,  the wind began to blow,  a raven cut the sky above us,  chattering…  Grace let go of that iron and pointed off to a distant standing red barn..  Look mama its so beautiful!!

Another mama moment somehow squeezed into a crevis of my heart.  So glad I was able to help her face her fear of heights!!!  What an amazing moment for the three of us.

August 2016

#nofear #allfaith

Obscure Risk~

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I harbor no fear in me ~ of you

Stepping cautiously now unto your trails

Tainted with your sweet poisonous ways

I wanna decipher these mappings of who you truly are

Given time I’ll explore all of you

I wanna see your soul complete

Integrate our beings as one

It’s the sweetest poison you are molded from

Given time I will taste it all

 

I  know you will be worth every tear I’ll eventually cry

 

It’s an obscure risk, following the trails you’ve left behind

Still I’ll move onward shuffling my aching feet

Atop the distinctive clues

You’ve carefully left them here for me

Knowing I would not hesitate to follow

In a vision, I saw you standing there

Loathing beneath the raging storm

Thunder~ we cannot escape the distance in which we hear her

As lighting fills the night sky, she dances in quick flashes

Revealing the bleakness upon your tear stained cheek

All alone you’re shivering and cold, grieving bout’ days gone by

I’m offering to clothe you now with all the colors of me

Let me be the intense fiery blanket that warms your soul

Given time I’m gonna make you whole

Rid you of all the sad times you’ve seen

I’ll give you shelter from all this past years’ blue-blue rain

I’m gonna take care of you baby, just you wait and see

Your cryptic poisonous trails led me here

Scattered beneath the mystical star filled night

I stumble across pieces of you, broken and torn

Mecum hill it’s where I saw you~ tangled in a black abyss

Amidst the moons light I stop to stare

Gonna gather up these pieces and fit you together again

I’ll be the emotional adhesive for you ~ if you let me

Gonna rid you of all the anguish inside

I’ll make you a happy man again

I promise to fill each and every need

Absolve all your sadness till your complete as one ~ with me

It’s an obscure risk, following the trails you’ve left behind ~ I know

Yet you’re worth every tear I will eventually cry!

 

~*~ BAM~*~

Nite Notes 2015

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Copyright 2016  by Belinda Mercado no reproduction without prior consent

 

Big Brother Manistee~

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Belinda Mercado

English 111

Explaining Relationships

Big Brother Manistee

At six foot two inches, my eldest son Nick towers above me. One thought-provoking thing about Nick is the deep appreciation and overall relationship he has formed with the Manistee River. He is hooked. Since that first river trip, it was opening day of trout season, nineteen ninety-five.  He was just four years old back then.

Now at twenty-two he has developed into a delightful, compassionate young man.

He will tell you the river depends on its inhabitants, such as himself and he in turn depends on the river so it becomes a practical relationship between him and the River. When he was old enough to realize he must respect it as a whole. He  learned many valuable lessons over the years on how as a river occupant, you must respect the river.   He overturned in a canoe at the age of seven. Quickly sucked into a logjam where the river could have easily taken his last breath.  Sometimes you must learn from the natural unspoken relationships on how to reevaluate the meanings of life.  In the face of real danger, it taught him to respect the river. At that point, in time the river became his big brother.

He looks up to the serenity it provides, the food it puts on his table, the enjoyment of a refreshing swim on a lazy hot summer day. The family bonding time it enables by means of river trips.

Having recovered from the ravages of the 1880’s logging era, the river is once again considered one of the finest streams in America. Nick has an inherent respect for the river and its deep currents that can pull you under to your death; the eroding banks can give way under carless steps, without carful human intervention the rivers placid nature would surely cease again.   Therefore, the relationship works for both of them.  Nick aids in the river clean up every year.  He has lent his labor to the natural rivers act in “Rebuilding a bank movement.” and  ”Strategic tree top and log placement” to enable new fish habitats.

Through his teen-age years, Nick would disappear for hours at a time. Often I would find him on the scenic riverbank, reflecting on woe’s he was experiencing at the time.  Big Brother Manistee possessed spiritual healing properties within the water that flowed. Many a times Nick was a renewed soul after those hours of reflection.

Still today when I answer the phone and its Nick..  He says, “Hey Mama, how are you?”  “I am good son what are you up too?”  “Oh, I just left the river.”  In those moments I know he has experienced some sort of hurt, or has had, a difficult decision laid before him. Some issue that requires the solitudes found on the banks of the Manistee River. In those times, he looks up to his big brother the most. He gravitates to the rivers symbolic powers, which create a calming peace in which to wash his worries away. He can go to the rivers edge and sit for several hours, watching the currents twist and swirl in little pools then jet out to the center. Listen to cursing swift movements of the clear waters as they run over boulders jetting out from the bank, or the caressing sounds of a cool section flirting with a partially dislodged log…

In this time of deep connection with the river its healing properties lead Nick to answers in his life’s questions. Quirky as it sounds, its true!

At nineteen Nick was considering going off to join the Marines. He was very torn over leaving home and the comfort zone of what he knew best. To explore quite possibly a region of unknown realms of hostility and war fronts. He honors his country and the freedoms it has given him; he was uncertain however about making the right decision.   The majestic Manistee held him captive that hot July weekend. He camped on the muddy banks for three days and two nights. Pondering all the things in his life that the decision to join would affect, including his newborn son Aiden. The rivers energy somehow empowered him to a virtuous decision to stay with what was familiar here at home.

When faced with inner turmoil and angst, or harsh decisions in life you can surely find Nick along a stretch of river he knows best, which lies in Fife Lake’s Garfield Township. It’s a soul seeking, grounding ritual, performed at the river’s edge. He strides along the bank seeking the perfect spot on which to deflate his emotional tire or measurable anger. This day he sits back up to an ole cedar post. He grabs various stones, tossing them, cutting the surface with a splish-splash-gurgle.  He knows that the problems or issues he imaginatively engraved unto the stones, will not come back from the silt river bottom to invade his mind again. Instead sinking to the silt on the bottom and never be thought of again.   There is an invisible healing power in the headwaters of the Manistee River in a sense they run over Nick with their refreshing cool waters washing the hurt, the pain, the anguish in which he carried to its shore.  His bonding to that natural  relationship runs deeper and deeper with every visit. It is a constant emotion regulator in his life.

Above all else, in his life he can always count on the relationship he has with the Manistee, it will never let him down, nor desert him, nor dishonor him, nor leave him feeling empty. It is within the mutual respect they have for each other.

The circle slowly repeats itself.   After leaving the banks entombing its waters repeatedly with many of life’s uncertainties, Nick repays the Manistee by participation in the annual river clean-up day every May.

It is his deepest bond with nature in which he formed a lifetime big brother.  With so many irresponsible river goers these days, the Manistee is proud to have a friend in Nick, he cares for him.

His roots are there on the banks of that river, deeper and deeper they descend  with every visit he attends.

**Hmmm just re-read not sure how this paper earned me a 4.0? **  Humble 🙂

**Yes this means u, do not use or  reproduce without prior consent!  Thanks!

 

 

“Forgiveness”

“Forgiveness”

 

It is March of nineteen seventy-eight, a time of immense loss. I recall it as being a premature spring. Our intimate community of Nicosia, Illinois, was slowly awakening in the remnants of the muddy snow.  Drifts of purple crocus and brilliant yellow daffodil lay in careful scheme among infinite fields; adeptly they reach from beneath the massive dormant oaks. Fragrant aromas of spring flourished in the air.

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