Becoming a mother is a choice, some women make the decision early in life that they do not want to have children. That’s fine it is a choice. For me I could not even imagine not being a mother. From the time I was 11 or 12, I dreamt of having my own children, lots of them! I do think it stems from losing my mother at a very young age. I wanted the ability to provide for my children what I was lacking growing up by not having my mom around. The lord graced me with my first son at the age of 19, sure I was young but Nicks birth literally saved my life. I was on the wrong road in life, full of bad decisions. I had been in and out of Jail a few times. I had been a runaway, school drop out, messed up in drugs and the wrong relationships with men.
Over the course of the next 17 years I had live births to 3 more beautiful little souls. Natosha, Gracie and Elijah John! I love each and every one of them in a very different way. Today I want to talk about Elijah. He is my miracle boy. He is the youngest and my only blue eyed towhead! Just him being here today is a blessing, had I listened to the Dr. back on that cold January day in 2008 and went home as he instructed me, Elijah would have died in my womb. Your mother has probably taught you about that “Gut-Feeling” growing up. ALWAYS pay attention to that sense, it’s true. I call it the holy Spirit presence.
I was very adamant with the Dr. telling him there was something wrong and I refused to leave, until they gave me an ultrasound to check on my son. Last I remembered he became frustrated with me, telling me. ” Every women at 9 months feels what you are feeling, you are fine” I mean he’s the Doctor, he knows every patient follows the same map in pregnancy, right? Wrong! After he made those comments I requested another obstetrician see me. I wanted nothing more to do with this arrogant man!
After 30 minutes had passed, she swung the door open and sat down next to me. She held my hand and was really listening to me. “Belinda, you feel something is wrong with the baby?” Yes, and I would like an ultra sound to be sure, can you make that happen? please.” Tears streamed down my face as she responded “Yes, I will get it ordered right away.”
In the following hour, through testing and ultrasound, it was discovered that my baby had very little amniotic fluid left. (I had been leaking for some time and never noticed) He would have suffocated, and been stillborn had I not demanded to go against the grain of the health care provider in charge of my care! I was immediately wheeled off for an emergency C-section, and Elijah John was born into my life…. God’s grace saved him from an eminent demise. I fully believe in my heart, he has a special purpose here on earth. I know he has saved me many times with just a simple smile, a silly little boy joke or just holding my hand and walking with me.
I wonder sometimes, if it had been my first pregnancy and I didn’t know any better, what would have happened in that circumstance had I left and went home…… Always listen to that gut-feeling. Dont assume that every Dr. knows best in every situation, second-guessing could save a life. Thank you Jesus, for all my beautiful children !!!!
Belinda Ann *
Proud mother of 4…..
(Unedited short kitchen table write)
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